March 2011
1 post
Your shitty-ass girlfriend.
Was our waitress at Shogun on Friday. We locked eyes instantly and you could have cut the tension in there with a knife. And you know what? I will never be happy for you. I will absolutely never be happy that you were an absolute piece of shit in the way you went about kicking me out of the new life you built around a crackhead. That’s cool. That’s fine. But I’ll never forgive...
November 2010
2 posts
No-Shave November?
whosscruffylooking:
jennarachelle:
More like “No-Nookie November”.
When one accepts that November will bring no nookie regardless of facial hair, the properties of masculinity and brotherhood associated with No-Shave November are much more appealing. In a phrase, the properties can be summed up as “Bros Before Hos.”
::Edit::
I think Dr. Martin Luther King said this in his Letter from a...
No-Shave November?
More like “No-Nookie November”.
October 2010
12 posts
Check it, fool. →
Look up “spoonerism”.
It’s nucking futs.
Let me tell you a little story about a man named...
False. This has nothing to do with the Beverly Hillbillies, and everything to do with the fact that my phone has decided over the last few days that it only rings when it wants to, and it certainly does not want to every time people call or my ALARM GOES OFF IN THE MORNING. Great. I really wanted to spend $200 getting a new phone.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK.
On the plus side, one of my classmates...
La La La La La.
We’re just afraid, period. Our fear is free floating. We’re afraid this isn’t the right relationship or we’re afraid it is. We’re afraid they won’t like us or afraid they will. We’re afraid of failure or we’re afraid of success. We’re afraid of dying young or we’re afraid of growing old. We’re more afraid of life than we are death.
...
I decided something today.
I.have.faith.in.people. I.have.faith.in.processes. I.have.faith.in.goodness.
But most of all-
I.have.faith.in.love.
I believe with everything that I have that I will meet someone who will wake up and decide one morning that they absolutely cannot live another day without me. I believe that someone will find my assertiveness to be a strength. They will believe that my faith in good...
Look at her...
She won’t ever compare-
You can say you’re sorry, but I still don’t care.
Was she worth this mess?
Was she worth this pain?
You can say it’s her fault, but you’re both to blame.
Now I”m deafened by your silence, blinded by the tears,
If you’re looking for forgiveness, you won’t find that here-
‘Cause you lied your way to heartbreak,
...
Stupidity has run AMOK. →
thepostsecret:
Maybe if the person writing this spent more of her time in high school studying, instead of bashing wonderful ladies who are far superior in class to her….she would know that the correct tense of “forgive” would, in this case, be “forgiven” not “forgived”. Also- I’d like to point out that steriods don’t cause stupidity. So the...
March 2010
1 post
Let's keep talking about this and see if it gets...
Oh wait. It doesn’t.
February 2010
1 post
If the world keeps spinning.
If everyone could just stop for one minute and shut the hell up. Put aside all of your conceited tendencies, your makeup, your false impressions of what beauty, love, trust, and reality are….the silence that the world experienced….for that one second…would be the most lonely silence in the world. It would be so beautifully deafening. And you want to know the sad part? We; Not...
December 2009
1 post
Sometimes I just get so
frustrated. Like right now. It’s not about me…and then it’s all about me….and then it’s all about you…and then suddenly- I’m not a good girlfriend anymore….and then I am…and then I’m sorry…and then you’re sorry.
We’re always…the both of us…sorry.
November 2009
1 post
tfln.
(614): im so drunk with asians (1-614): where? (614): always
(484): He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming ‘iceroad truckers’ for four hours in the dark (404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song… (330): yah i’m on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i’m holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i...
October 2009
8 posts
Fo Sheezy...
Today, while being exceptionally bored I typed in “Fo” to see what suggestions came up. One was “fo’ shizzle my nizzle”. Intrigued I clicked on it to find this: “fo shizzle ma nizzle” is a bastardization of “fo’ sheezy mah neezy” which is a bastardization of “for sure mah nigga” which is a bastdardization of “I concur...
"It's a chicken."
Today, I was with my four year old cousin. She lives on a farm, and has a pet chicken named Bob. I said, “Emma, is Bob a boy or a girl?” She gave me a look and said, “It’s a chicken.” MLIA
Today, I was babysitting a two year old girl. We were playing with her toy trains, and she told me that she had a nightmare last night. I asked her what it was about. She looked up...
Sometimes I hate you.
But then I don’t because I choose to love you, instead.
My life: Average
Today, I found an essay I did on what I want to be when I grow up in grade two. I wrote “I want to be a purple octopus cop because cops get everything they want (including donuts), purple is cool, and nobody can say no to an octopus.” I’m glad to see I am still on the same career track. MLIA
Today, my younger sister asked me what the ‘D.C’ in Washington D.C stood...
MLIA
Today, while in the shower, I noticed that the conditioner I use on my hair smells like bananas and looks like banana pudding. I tasted it. Turns out, the similarities stop there. MLIA.
Today, while in my Geometry class, a boy two seats behind me asked what a “Whole” number was. The class stared at him in disbelief, while my teacher calmly stated that they were the numbers with...
Things my mom said that I never really believed...
“Vitamin C will keep you from getting sick.”
Well Mom, so far, so good.
Please take a long look through your text book-...
Sitting here eating Gobstoppers. Not those chewy ones….those aren’t even close to delicious. I’ve decided that the Dollar Tree is my new favorite store. Maybe before you laugh at me, you should go there and see how much shiiit you can get for five dollars. College teaches you a lot more than history, mathmatical equations, and proper writing technique. It also serves the...
September 2009
11 posts
Today, I read the back of my One-A-Day gummy vitamins. The directions say to eat 2 gummies daily. I’ve been taking one a day as indicated by the name. I feel mislead. MLIA
Today my roommate came home to find his bed gift wrapped, his desk covered in post-it notes, and 30 goldfish swimming in his bathtub. I would say I’m making the most of my college experience. MLIA
Today, I found...
You'd think me rude, but I would just stand and...
‘Cause I get a thousand hugs, from ten thousand lightening bugs-
as they try to teach me how to dance.
<3 It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep.
Owl City….I do like you. Very much.
A sad day in Huskertown...
I hope we find our offense by next week. Maybe while we’re at it, we could find a little more support for Suh, who happens to be carrying the entire line of blackshirts on his back 9 out of 10 plays.
P.O.'ed.
Fo realz.
I thought maybe I could see you on your day off but apparently you would rather take a nap. That’s cool I guess…minus the fact that I won’t see you for two days now….because I’m going home tomorrow….not that you knew that….because you would have had to actually talk to me today in order for me to get a chance to tell you.
Goodnight.
Today, I was using the bathroom at my college when I noticed someone wrote “Thug Life” in big bold letters. Right underneath it, someone added “gets you nowhere. That’s why you’re at a community college.” MLIA
Face Drop.
“And I love it when I see your face drop,
I told you not to leave me alone,
Now that I got my own, I see your face drop,
I told you not to count me out.”
…When I left you, yo, I came out a winner.
<3 Sean Kingston
“ I just got solicited by a prostitute while at a stop light. Power locks and...”
– Brian Kyncl
I'd like to talk to you about a serious problem...
Farmville. Renders studying impossible. It’s pathetic.
Curse you, Farmville. I can fail anatomy without your help!
There's this class called Ethics...
Basically, let’s jumble every controversial topic you could possibly think of and try to teach objectivity to young adults who have clearly already formed their opinions about said topics. It’s the overall fluster cuck of the so-called “educational experience” that every college student must deal with.
I don’t care that some old guy once thought the same things...