tfln.

(614): im so drunk with asians
(1-614): where?
(614): always

(484): He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming ‘iceroad truckers’ for four hours in the dark
(404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song…

(330): yah i’m on my way- is everything ok?
(1-330) i’m holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

(480): I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
(205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don’t care about the cat i really just don’t want to get pregnant
2 years ago